too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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