Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
