Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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