Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
