He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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