toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
