Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
