i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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