so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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