there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
