Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Come share oat with me in your robe
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
