he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
