Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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