I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
