Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
