Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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