It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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