I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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