my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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