So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
