He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
