I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
