I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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