just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
