I feel great
I just peed on a car
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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