Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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