I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
