Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
