But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
