dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
