Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
