Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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