I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
