i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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