Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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