I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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