it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
