im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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