you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
