i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
