yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
