he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
