The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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