they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
