It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
