It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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