I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
