You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
