thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
