i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
